the paper filter

residue of my consciousness

Month: May, 2010

I remember whenever we were side by side,
you’d always have an arm around my shoulders
and your hand would reach around my face
and you would trace the corners of my lips with your fingertips.
You would always do that till they were rubbed raw but
i never wanted you to stop.
And everytime, bewildered, i would ask you why you kept doing that.
and you would always proclaim,
“i dunno! I just love your lips. I love how they feel.”
and i suppose i understood why you didn’t know.
It was like how everytime you cradled your head on my
shoulder, i would always reach around to run my finger over your brow, over and over till we fell asleep.
I don’t know why i did that, but i loved to.

The Constant

I’ve got things to do today. It’s okay. she’ll understand. she’ll still be there tomorrow.

Hey honey, were you waiting for me all day?

I won’t say hello because I know I won’t be able to stop talking to her and get my shit done.

Fuck I’m in love with her.

I’m late meeting someone. I’ll just say hello later.

It’s always been her.

She won’t find out. I hope.

Where is she?

I fucking miss her.

Why hasn’t she texted me today?

I don’t deserve her.

What a FUCKING BITCH.

FUCK YOU.

Please stay.

I didn’t mean what I said.

Please don’t leave me.

I love you.

I wish I had never left.

I wish you were here.

I need you.

This is about me.

Me me me me me. ME. me. me.

…….