dear sister

by deej

dear sister,
what do i tell you now?
i usually have all the answers
but this time i am unprepared.
i have no answers.
i have no advice.
forgive me for that?

usually, a mere hug,
a hand holding onto yours,
would seem sufficient in giving comfort.
but today it is all i have to offer.
and it feels inadequate.
words cannot undo the physicality
and sequence of the events that took place.

all i can tell you is to carry on as you are.
one day at a time.
be that patience that he could not have.
until your heart is better.

he is not gone.
he remains in your closet;
the checkered shirts and the cardigan you once threw out.
in your music;
every song will remind you of him.
in your favourite foods;
you will recall every time you’ve had it with him.
every cigarette you’ve smoked and shared.
every place you’ve been together.
any thing he has touched.
any thing that remains.

these are why memories remain.
this is the reason for the existence of memories.
you can look at them whenever you want to.
you can spend as much time on each one as you want.
when they’re too much to handle,
take a step back and take a break.
catch your breath.
remember to breathe.

do not be afraid of them.
conquer your memories.
conquer your thoughts.
and you will be the victor.

do not be afraid to wear that checkered shirt.
do not be afraid to listen to that song.
do not be afraid to remember his touch.
because these things keep him close to you.
these things keep him alive in you.
he is not gone.